Working Wives & Bachelorettes: Men and Their Complaints

On the radio a few weeks ago the hosts were discussing an article on eHarmony’s website about dating advice. The article is written by Grant Langston and is titled, “Men’s Ten Biggest Complaints About Women.”

I thought it was pretty interesting and funny because all of the complaints, in my opinion, are true – whether I want to openly admit it or not. When you read this you may swear up and down that you don’t do these things, but truth is, most/many of us do. I will be first to admit.

1. You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do.

The author gives an example of his friend who married someone who was in a band. The woman was a bit threatened by all of the attention her husband received and told him that she hated he was in a band and wish he’d just quit. When he quit the band she told her friends, “I’m a little less attracted to him because he quit the band, and just did what I asked. Now he just hangs out at home.” This may be a very specific example but it can easily be related to things I have done in the past. For example, not liking a boyfriend’s job and complaining to him about it. When he quits, I complain that he is out of work.

2. You have a complicated set of double standards.

We like having an equal relationship and having say in things we do in relationships. But when our significant others take us out and ask what we’d like to do tonight we get angry that they haven’t taken charge of the situation and plan a nice evening out. The list could go on and on for examples of when us ladies do this. I hate to admit that I definitely have double standards.

3. You don’t understand and/or like our need for alone time.

I certainly don’t like it or understand it. We don’t understand why they don’t want to spend more time with us and why they want to do things on their own like play golf or go out with the guys.

4. You fixate on what we’re thinking, when you should be watching what we’re doing.

I don’t like the explanation although the author has a good point. He says, we ask “what are you thinking? And men say, “Nothing.” We assume it must be a lie and decide that the man isn’t willing to communicate with us. The author goes on to say that the problem is, this is the wrong question to ask. Men are action-oriented. We should watch what they are doing instead of asking. If the guy is coming home late every night, they aren’t happy at home. If they are not calling back even though they said “I love you”, they don’t love you.

5. You like to play coy.

We tend to play the “I don’t care game” with men. If we care, they want to know! The author says, “You think we like the chase? Perhaps. You think we like guessing whether we’re wasting our time? No.”

6. You have a tendency to be critical.

We really do tend to be critical at times. There is not much to say about this one, it is true, unfortunately.

7. You use your emotions as a weapon.

It is not that we mean to – well sometimes. But I know that we sometimes turn on the tears to get our way. Hey, if it works, why not?

8. You’re always looking down the road.

It is in our nature to do this. We tend to think about the next major step in life. Men tend to think much shorter term.

9. Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high.

We know that our man is not going to be like the George Clooney or Brad Pitt in the movie, but in our heart we want it. It is not our fault we have been fed a fantasy about romance and passion that only happens in the movies.

10. You see us as projects you can ‘fix.’

We meet a man, we like them, we date them, we marry them. Somewhere along the line we see the rough edges and want to round them off.

So, do you agree with these complaints? Are you guilty of all of them or only some?