Working Wives & Bachelorettes: Career Bullsh*t

I’m sure we have all heard the career advice, “do what you love.” I say forget it. Think about it, we do what we love no matter what, because we love it, not because we get paid to do it.

Career decisions are not decisions about what do I love most. Career decisions are about what kind of life I want to set up for myself. How could you possibly pick one thing you love to do?

The world reveals to you what you love by what you spend time on. Try stuff. If you like it, you'll go back to it. I recently tried being crafty. If you read past blogs of mine you may have learned that I started to paint wine and shot glasses. At first I didn't want to try, I wanted my friend to be the creative one and use my idea. When she and I got together to give my ‘idea’ a try, I started to paint and loved it. Although very time consuming, the end result of painted glass is awesome. Anyway, in reality, I would never do this for a living.

Not all of us are going to be so lucky to do what we love for a living. For instance, I have always loved fashion. Let’s face it, I am never going to be the next Rachel Zoe. That just wasn’t in my cards. I am sure Rachel loves her job, she always says she does at least. She’s lucky. For the rest of us living in the normal world, we have to come to the realization that instead of choosing a career we LOVE, we may have to instead do things we love to do outside of work.

I always wonder how we are supposed to decide what we want out of life when we are only 18 years old. Choosing a life path in college is tough. How is a kid supposed to know what they want to do with the rest of their life? They don’t even know all of the possibilities out there. The pressure we feel to find a perfect career is insane. And, given that most people are trying to find it before they are thirty, in order to avoid a biological-clock crisis, the pressure is enough to push people over the edge. Oddly enough, one of the highest risk times for depression in life is in one's early twenties when people realize how totally impossible it is to simply "do what you love."

Good relationships make you feel great, not jobs. A job can ruin your life and make you feel out of control in terms of your time or your ability to accomplish goals - no job will make your life complete. Doing what you love will make you feel happy but you don't necessarily need to get paid for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not telling you to be miserable with your career choice - that is no way to live. But there is no need to stress yourself out or beat yourself up over not having the most perfect job that you love going to everyday, that just isn’t reality. If you feel overwhelmed and looking to “do what you love” you are totally normal. Stop being so hard on yourself and realize you don’t have to find a career that you necessarily LOVE. Find a job or career that accommodates your strengths and skills. Love comes from relationships, not our everyday work, so make sure you keep the good people in your life that you’ve got.