Working Wives & Bachelorettes: Hard to Say Goodbye!

When my husband decided that he wanted to open his own bar, I knew it was going to be hard but I absolutely 100% supported him. For those of you who currently work in the service industry or have in a past life, you know it’s the most absurd environment. The “rules” of every other normal business just don’t apply to this industry. Perhaps it’s because you’re usually up all night and sleep all day. Perhaps it’s because you’re constantly dealing with drunks and idiots and playing shrink to pretty much everyone who walks the door. I don’t know what exactly it is but having worked in “corporate America” for the last 15 years; the service industry blows my freaking mind!!!

When we opened the bar almost five years ago, our very good friend (of almost 12 years) joined the team pretty much on day one. Even at the beginning, when the staff was light, he was always willing to pitch in and work a double or check beer in. He was a huge help to my husband at the beginning. Then things started to change…

My husband has always run the bar with the idea of everyone having fun. Like most bars, this means allowing your bartenders to have a shot or two if customers buy you one. Now this doesn’t mean every time you make a shot or a drink, you get to make one for yourself, it means having one or two throughout the night to make a customer feel good. Most of us have no problem with this. However, our good friend…the one who’s been with us since day one…just couldn’t stop. His drawers started to be off, his temper was short and we tried everything with him. We talked nicely to him; we yelled at him, we suspended him. Nothing was working. Then about two weeks ago, we received an anonymous email through our website from another bar owner outside the city limits. They came down to see the “‘Burgh’s Best Neighborhood Bar” and most of the email was glowing with compliments. I was literally grinning from ear-to-ear and couldn’t wait to show my husband and the rest of the staff. Then…they mentioned our bartender. They said he was visibly intoxicated behind the bar and running off to the bathroom every 10 minutes or so. They said he was very friendly but being bar owners themselves and having just paid a very hefty fine to the LCB for the same problem, they wanted to give us the heads-up. So…I sat our friend down again. This time, the proof was in the pudding. He read the email and like me was grinning from ear-to-ear. Then he got to the part about him (which they did say his name in the email). He started to cry and I told him that he was suspended this time for a whole week and that if he were caught drinking and or drunk behind the bar one more time, he would be fired! I had had it. My husband and I didn’t work our asses off to have someone destroy it (even if they are our friend).

Well, this past Saturday, we had to fire him. It was the hardest thing to do and it truly broke my heart. I honestly never want to do it again but I know that just goes with the territory when you own your own business. The part that kills me is that our friendship may not survive but what could we do…he became a liability and if we lose the bar, we lose everything.

I know everyone in the service industry drinks a little more than most and probably “parties” a little more than most but, I find that most everyone in this industry uses “the industry” as an excuse…”I’m in the service industry and that’s just what we do.” I call bullshit!!! I’ve now been immersed in it for a couple of years and I’m not an alcoholic or drug addict. I still manage to get up when the sun is shining and although there are days when I’m freaking exhausted, I’m still an adult with responsibilities. So if that means I lose a few hours a sleep to get everything accomplished and still work at the bar…so be it!