Starting Small

Starting most things with a small, simple step is usually interwoven into the fabric of begining something new and challenging. Going to college--you have to fill out applications, research online, visit campuses. Starting an exercise routine--you can go big, but you will wind up sore or injured. Physiology puts the kibosh on you rushing toward the end of your fitness goals. There are stops or checks at every point along the way to keep you on track and continually making slow and steady progress, unless you stop altogether or don't know where to begin.

Lately...I don't know where to begin because I'm not sure I know where I want to go. I have always had plans. Big. Small. A, B and C. Fool-proof. Back-up. All sorts of plans for all facets of my life. I've learned, thank you my wonderful children, that the best laid plans are laughable, but that's why I have always thought everything out and counted on every angle so there aren't too many surprises. When life throws me the inevitable curve ball, I give myself 48 hours to assess the situation and then start planning and acting.

Since the start of 2012, I've been floating. I don't know how else to describe it. I don't know where I'm going next. I don't have a plan. I'm not giving my all in any area of my life. I don't know where I want to be or what I want to be doing and I certainly don't know where to start. It's so frustrating to me.

I spoke to a friend today and she was so excited for me. A new beginning. The unknown. Mediate on it. Just go where life takes me. I embrace her advice, but she's a bit granola. She's very laissez-faire and I'm very OCD. But I heed her advice. She is right.

I need to loosen my grip and let go of the reins. Not everything needs a plan. Not everything needs to be known or counted on. Maybe by 2013!

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” ~ Gilda Radner

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Idea Overload

I am attempting to be more crafty. I received a sewing machine for Christmas. I don't know how to thread the machine, but I have already purchased a pattern and material to make a curtain for my bathroom window. A relatively easy first project...at least I hope. My great desire is to make curtains for my dining room. And I am slowly, but surely, learning how to knit. I have so many things I want to create!

I have been stumbling across blogs, like thisismeinspired.blogspot.com, that speak to my trying-to-break-free creative side. The writer has amazingly creative projects and edible treats on her blog. But she explains how she does it, making the finished product something attainable. At the end of a post, I'll think, "That is something I could do". Sometimes that is all the push needed to get started.

Pinterest is another huge time waster, but it can lead to so many ideas. Plus it is addicting!

My cousin, Tammy, is a great motivator for these do-it-yourself projects. And she finds things on the cheap! This past spring, while shopping at a cute little store in Amish country Indiana, I found a candle holder with a cracked base. It was for sale "as-is" for 75% off the original price. While I may have passed up the great deal because of the flaw, my cousin assured me that we could make it look great. And we did! A little garland around the base covered the crack. The original price for the candle holder was $75. But for $20 I was able to make it my own.

For me, finishing a project gives me a sense of accomplishment. I made a ribbon board this weekend from an old bulletin board that I would have otherwise thrown away. I was really happy with how it turned out and it didn't take that long to do. While I probably won't become a crafting maven anytime soon, I think the more I do it, the more I will love it. Not a bad way to spend time!

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Ooooh tile, things are gonna get easier

And as the home projects continue, and some wrap up - whether we want to or not - we are learning a lot. And what we don’t know – we YouTube!

Still, sad to say, I am without a shower. Although progress has been made over the weekend, I am still longing for my own bathroom and losing the stress of showering at my mom’s or my future MIL’s house every day. I pray to the shower gods it is complete this week!

I’ve learned a lot about flooring. Tile, hardwoods, floating, laminate… Tiling, oh, tiling, you are bane of my existence, and I now see why people pay the big bucks for professionals to come in and do it for them. If I knew it was going to take this long, and be this tedious, I would have selected a whole shower, not a tub and tile. And remember, my bathroom is SMALL! Still, it’s a huge freakin project.

I’ve also learned that the shows on DIY TV and HGTV help set unrealistic expectations for your own home improvement projects. Unless you have a team of 30 people, all specialized in something, it is impossible to get a pretty large project done in three days, especially when you are DIYers like Nick and me.

I would now like to take you on a little transformation journey that has been my bathroom...

One fun Saturday afternoon, our friends Meagan and Kevin came over to check out the new digs... Nick enlisted Kevin in some demolition, which resulted in my bathroom looking like this - and my dining room filled with insulation and the rest of the first floor covered in a layer of dust. Who knew demolition was so dirty?

A week later, my friend Matt came to town all the way from Columbus. He is a professional contractor, and was kind enough to give DIYers like us a hand. Well, thank the dear baby Jesus he came! Clearly we had more issue than we were ready for - water damage to the floor, floor joists and a door frame that were no longer attached to the house. Ugh. A huge mess! This is what my bathroom looked like after day 1 (a gaping hole looking into the basement). Three days later we had a new floor, new plumbing and a ceiling and electric! Not what we thought, but so thankful for the help and knowledge of a GREAT friend.

Here we have a mid-project picture. Look - drywall, cement board and a new tub! All preped and ready to go. Ladies - for those of you who don't know (I learned this) cement board is different than drywall. Cement board is specially made for tiling purposes and does not absorb water! Hence it's importance in the shower area. Also, cement board doesn't expand and contract on the floor (like a plain wood base floor) so it is good for floor tile too - no cracking!

Here, we have the most updated picture that I have taken. Progress! Thanks to some other sweet friends (Adam and Aron) we now have a floor! Isn't she pretty? The hole in the middle is where the toilet will attach and the poop will go :) Since this photo was taken, we have grouted the floor and started tiling in the tub/shower area. Big things are happening in the Killmeyer-Irvine household.

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Emmy's Heart

I was watching NBC Nightly News and saw this great piece about Emmy's Heart, an organization that makes tutus and capes for kids who are in the hospital. What a great idea! The video ’Tutu Lady’ delivers joy to sick kids told the story of how the creator, Laura Pita, got the idea because her son was sick in the hospital as well as her mom and she needed something to do to keep her mind busy.

All of the tutu and cape makers are volunteers, Laura's friends. I think this would be a fun thing to do for a girls night! Laura is currently doing this for a couple of hospitals in Florida but encourages you to try it in your town.

If you can't be creative, we can still help because Emmy's Heart also accepts monetary and supply donations. So the next time you take a trip to JoAnn Fabrics or Michael's clearance bin, or your mom or grandma's sewing closet, pick out a few extras that they have and donate them! On the website, they state, "We use rolls of 6-inch tulle to make our tutus and crowns. Capes are make from poly/cotton blend broadcloth with felt appliques. Our hair items are made with grosgrain ribbon. We also use 3/4 inch no-roll elastic and velcro. Did I mention buttons? We love to embellish our hair items with fun buttons too!"

If you and your friends decide to create some flare, Laura promises it doesn't require much! Why not make a couple of tutus or capes to make a child's day brighter? I am sure Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh would gladly accept your donation. In fact, a friend of the WWB and local designer, Angie of Sew Addicted in Pittsburgh said she already has a ton of tutus that she would love to donate. Follow her and Emmy's Heart on Facebook!

Let me know if you do donate or make your own designs. I would love to see them!

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Career Bullsh*t

I’m sure we have all heard the career advice, “do what you love.” I say forget it. Think about it, we do what we love no matter what, because we love it, not because we get paid to do it.

Career decisions are not decisions about what do I love most. Career decisions are about what kind of life I want to set up for myself. How could you possibly pick one thing you love to do?

The world reveals to you what you love by what you spend time on. Try stuff. If you like it, you'll go back to it. I recently tried being crafty. If you read past blogs of mine you may have learned that I started to paint wine and shot glasses. At first I didn't want to try, I wanted my friend to be the creative one and use my idea. When she and I got together to give my ‘idea’ a try, I started to paint and loved it. Although very time consuming, the end result of painted glass is awesome. Anyway, in reality, I would never do this for a living.

Not all of us are going to be so lucky to do what we love for a living. For instance, I have always loved fashion. Let’s face it, I am never going to be the next Rachel Zoe. That just wasn’t in my cards. I am sure Rachel loves her job, she always says she does at least. She’s lucky. For the rest of us living in the normal world, we have to come to the realization that instead of choosing a career we LOVE, we may have to instead do things we love to do outside of work.

I always wonder how we are supposed to decide what we want out of life when we are only 18 years old. Choosing a life path in college is tough. How is a kid supposed to know what they want to do with the rest of their life? They don’t even know all of the possibilities out there. The pressure we feel to find a perfect career is insane. And, given that most people are trying to find it before they are thirty, in order to avoid a biological-clock crisis, the pressure is enough to push people over the edge. Oddly enough, one of the highest risk times for depression in life is in one's early twenties when people realize how totally impossible it is to simply "do what you love."

Good relationships make you feel great, not jobs. A job can ruin your life and make you feel out of control in terms of your time or your ability to accomplish goals - no job will make your life complete. Doing what you love will make you feel happy but you don't necessarily need to get paid for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not telling you to be miserable with your career choice - that is no way to live. But there is no need to stress yourself out or beat yourself up over not having the most perfect job that you love going to everyday, that just isn’t reality. If you feel overwhelmed and looking to “do what you love” you are totally normal. Stop being so hard on yourself and realize you don’t have to find a career that you necessarily LOVE. Find a job or career that accommodates your strengths and skills. Love comes from relationships, not our everyday work, so make sure you keep the good people in your life that you’ve got.

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Happy New Year from Me!

For me (as I’m sure it is for most), the holidays are the most crazy time of year.  From Thanksgiving straight through New Year’s, it seems like you’re on a never-ending roller coaster of shopping, wrapping, cooking and visiting.  Now I’m not complaining…there’s something about all of the holiday cheer that just pulls me through it but sometimes, I wish that the holidays were about rest and relaxation rather than madness.   

This year it seemed like it was particularly maddening.  Although I took time off from my “big girl” job, I still had to be at the bar every day.  We’re opened 365 days a year so even on Christmas Eve and Christmas night, we were down there working away.  You may be surprised by this but, those are two of our busiest nights and they are actually pretty fun to work.  Then, I’m responsible for buying and getting the bar completely decorated for our huge New Year’s Eve party and this year, it was particularly important because not only were we ringing in 2012 but it was the bar’s five year anniversary.

Now I just have one more giant event to get through and that’s our staff holiday party which will be this coming Sunday.  I’m really looking forward to it because I feel like 2011 was a growing/changing year for us and I’m looking at 2012 as a fresh new start.  Honeslty, I’m just looking forward to life getting back to normal.  But, before we know it, the holiday season will be upon us again and we will all be consumed by it's crazyiness.  Why is it the older we get time just zips by? :)

Wishing you and your family a very happy and healthy 2012!

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Happy New Year!

On Saturday night/early Sunday morning, we all bid farewell to 2011. Some wishing the door would hit the year in its ass on the way out, some remembering the year fondly like a good friend who suddenly had to leave. I have to admit, I was completely indifferent about 2011. My life has settled into a comfortable routine and aside from the everyday ups and downs, remains fairly quiet. I am not at all upset by this, in fact, quite the opposite. Quiet is good. Quiet means simple. I like quiet.

I was looking over my resolutions for 2011--which aren't really resolutions at all, but more of a bucket list cross-sectioned with a to-do list. As a strict type A personality, to-do lists are my way of showing the world my accomplishments--one crossed off item at a time. My 2011 "to-do's" weren't much different...except I didn't actually do many of them.

I keep the list in my draft folder of my email and would check on it now and again. Clearly, I had made some "resolutions" that I felt I should make, but were a bit cliche. Things I never actually intended on doing. The beautiful thing about a list on the computer is, if you don't get to it, you can always just highlight and delete! As a type A, I wouldn't do that. Just beat myself up over what I did not accomplish!

There were a few that I did stick to and follow through on and that I will continue to work on. But, and this is probably the most important thing, there are a bunch of things I had never included on my list from 2011 that I just so happen to accomplish. I ran two half-marathons (more importantly, I found the time to train for them), I started working for trade at my local yoga shop, I spent more time with my friends. The list goes on and on, but the overall "thing" that I accomplished, that as a working mom with extra special kids with extra special circumstances, is that I finally made time for me. I never thought of adding that to my 2011 to-do list, it just sort of happend. And I'm happy that it did. Sometimes getting side-tracked and derailed is just what we need, even when it isn't part of the master plan.

In the end, I guess making time for myself is as cliche as resolving to "get fit" or "quit smoking," but as a type A, I have written the extra BIG thing down that I  accomplished and promptly crossed it off!

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