Starting Small

Starting most things with a small, simple step is usually interwoven into the fabric of begining something new and challenging. Going to college--you have to fill out applications, research online, visit campuses. Starting an exercise routine--you can go big, but you will wind up sore or injured. Physiology puts the kibosh on you rushing toward the end of your fitness goals. There are stops or checks at every point along the way to keep you on track and continually making slow and steady progress, unless you stop altogether or don't know where to begin.

Lately...I don't know where to begin because I'm not sure I know where I want to go. I have always had plans. Big. Small. A, B and C. Fool-proof. Back-up. All sorts of plans for all facets of my life. I've learned, thank you my wonderful children, that the best laid plans are laughable, but that's why I have always thought everything out and counted on every angle so there aren't too many surprises. When life throws me the inevitable curve ball, I give myself 48 hours to assess the situation and then start planning and acting.

Since the start of 2012, I've been floating. I don't know how else to describe it. I don't know where I'm going next. I don't have a plan. I'm not giving my all in any area of my life. I don't know where I want to be or what I want to be doing and I certainly don't know where to start. It's so frustrating to me.

I spoke to a friend today and she was so excited for me. A new beginning. The unknown. Mediate on it. Just go where life takes me. I embrace her advice, but she's a bit granola. She's very laissez-faire and I'm very OCD. But I heed her advice. She is right.

I need to loosen my grip and let go of the reins. Not everything needs a plan. Not everything needs to be known or counted on. Maybe by 2013!

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” ~ Gilda Radner

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...I'll get to this later

Procrastination - putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention. Yes. I am very good at procrastinating. I always have been. I wrote the best papers in college the night before they were due. Something about that last minute pressure brings out the creative perfectionist in me. Even now, in my “big girl job,” I will be the first to admit, I’m a procrastinator. It is certainly not a personality trait I am proud of, I have to say, it has never really come back to bite me in the ass… yet.

On Monday, I had a “holy crap” moment. I realized that in only 10 months I would be getting married! 10 months! So much to do, in suddenly what feels like very little time. Between trying to move into our house, being busy at work and getting ready for the holiday season (Yes, it’s freakin November), I’m feeling very overwhelmed, and for the moment, wedding planning has taken a back seat to the rest of my life.

I don’t want to be a procrastinator when it comes to my wedding (although I did wait months to actually choose a date). I want to have the most fun, most beautiful, most memorable wedding there ever was – and that surely takes some planning and preparation. There is no pumping out a wedding the night before, that’s for sure.

But I think part of my problem is that wedding planning takes a lot of time and research, which means a lot of time Googling on my computer, which is the last thing I want to do when I get home from work after spending an entire 8 hours in front of a computer.

Also, I am not that little girl who has envisioned her wedding since the day she was five. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of ideas and I am REALLY excited to marry my best friend, I just need to get some motivation (or pressure) to get the ball rolling on making appointments and such.
I do have a few of the big items crossed off my list…

ü Venue (Succop Conservancy)

ü Caterer (Medures Catering)

ü Dress (purchased from Bridal Beginning)

ü Photographer (my cousin and amazing photographer, Elizabeth Cayton)

ü Save the Dates have been sent

But, clearly for anyone who has been married... I have so much more to do.

I came across three secrets to overcoming procrastination:

1.Do it, delegate it or dump it! Don't wait till you feel like doing it; the feeling will come when you start doing it.
2.List all the things you have to do and then prioritize the list. Start with the things that are necessary; then those that are possible; and suddenly you'll find you are doing the impossible!)
3.Create a vision of the result and be motivated by the vision of the outcome, not the thought of the process.

Now, to stop procrastinating and follow these rules.

Any brides out there struggling with this? Motivation is kindly appreciated!

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