Working Wives & Bachelorettes: A New Normal

On Saturday afternoon, November 12, I received a call from my mom that no one wants to get.

“Something’s happened. You need to come home.”

I knew my dad was not having a good day – still in SICU and his blood pressure was extremely low. But I wasn’t prepared for THAT call. I quickly gathered what I could think about in my frenzied state of mind, not knowing what I was going home to or what the days ahead looked like. By the next day, we knew there was only one outcome.

My mom spent almost 3 whole days at the hospital, only going home to shower. My brother and I spent a lot of that time in the hospital as well, while trying to take care of things at home.

We were able to bring my dad home with the help of hospice. My cousin, who is an RN, flew up from North Carolina to help us take care of him. The dog even gave her own kind of comfort – licking his hands and laying under his bed. My mom, brother and I spent my dad’s last moments holding his hands and telling him how much we loved him.

After six physically and emotionally exhausting days, my dad passed away on Friday, November 18.

I have been running on auto-pilot ever since. Everything still feels surreal. The most benign events can cause an overwhelming flood of grief and emotion. This new normal is hard, which was expected, but I had no idea how hard it would be.

We have experienced our first Thanksgiving without my dad, which we handled pretty well. But the next several weeks carry more "firsts" – his birthday, Christmas, my mom’s birthday.

It will get better – eventually. As much as I want to hold on to how things used to be, time keeps moving forward. So for right now, it is just about putting one foot in front of the other and learning how to cope with a new normal.