Goofy or Regular?

Believe it or not, tomorrow is December 1. I for one have continuously expressed my concern with how quickly this year has flown by.

However, December means winter is here! And winter means snow, and snow means fun activities! Over the last two winters I have decided to take up the fine art of snowboarding… and it is a fine art. For me, it has not been easy, but I have grown to love it as a winter sport. So much so that I went out and ordered myself a snowboard after only my third time on a mountain. Most were skeptical of my purchase seeing that my first time down a mountain resulted in a minor concussion and a few smashed 8 year olds.

But, last season I successfully made it down the hills. I’m not good. I’m pretty bad. In fact, I can’t walk for almost a week after we spend time at 7 Springs or Hidden Valley and my knees are usually bruised beyond recognition.

It is one of those things Nick and I enjoy doing together (though, he usually leaves me in the dust to fend for myself, because I hold him up), and we love getting a group of friends together and heading to the mountains for the weekend.

This year I am teaching my friend Jackie to board. In her failed attempt this summer to teach me how to wakeboard, I feel as though this could be a task (Love you JMO). Nick says we both need to purchase helmets. This is probably a true statement.

But for those of you who have never attempted to board or ski, I must tell you that the hardest part about it all is getting off the damn lift. For me, it is no longer making it down the mountain that is my Achilles' heel – it is conquering the ski lift! Getting on – OK. Getting off – Challenge. This is where I fall, bruise my knees, smash into people, knock others over. It’s dangerous, hard and hilarious all at the same time. I’ve seen more injuries occur from people trying to get off the lifts than from falls down the mountain.

This winter season, I have two goals:
1. Learn to use the front edge of my board. Right now, I have two speeds – fast and stop. I don’t carve across the mountain (you need to use your front edge to do this), I just go as fast as I can, and then stop.
2. Master the lift.

Here in Pittsburgh we’ve been having unseasonably warm weather, but by Christmas (26 days) I’m going to be itching to get on my board. Stop this rain, gimme snow!

Happy winter, everyone!

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A New Normal

On Saturday afternoon, November 12, I received a call from my mom that no one wants to get.

“Something’s happened. You need to come home.”

I knew my dad was not having a good day – still in SICU and his blood pressure was extremely low. But I wasn’t prepared for THAT call. I quickly gathered what I could think about in my frenzied state of mind, not knowing what I was going home to or what the days ahead looked like. By the next day, we knew there was only one outcome.

My mom spent almost 3 whole days at the hospital, only going home to shower. My brother and I spent a lot of that time in the hospital as well, while trying to take care of things at home.

We were able to bring my dad home with the help of hospice. My cousin, who is an RN, flew up from North Carolina to help us take care of him. The dog even gave her own kind of comfort – licking his hands and laying under his bed. My mom, brother and I spent my dad’s last moments holding his hands and telling him how much we loved him.

After six physically and emotionally exhausting days, my dad passed away on Friday, November 18.

I have been running on auto-pilot ever since. Everything still feels surreal. The most benign events can cause an overwhelming flood of grief and emotion. This new normal is hard, which was expected, but I had no idea how hard it would be.

We have experienced our first Thanksgiving without my dad, which we handled pretty well. But the next several weeks carry more "firsts" – his birthday, Christmas, my mom’s birthday.

It will get better – eventually. As much as I want to hold on to how things used to be, time keeps moving forward. So for right now, it is just about putting one foot in front of the other and learning how to cope with a new normal.

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Serve You Well

We all live in a complex web of relationships: family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, significant others, etc. Some relationships work, and some don’t – it is the sad reality of life. As I have said before, we live and learn from these experiences and hopefully become a better person because of these lessons. Recently I have learned we must be conscious of who we enter into a relationship with and why. At times we can control the amount at which people rob us of our energy and how often they irritate and frustrate us.

What tends to happen is that we shut off and are not fully present for the people in our lives that truly matter; those who give and take, equally exchanging their energy. We fall into a path of not nurturing relationships that serve us well, healthy relationships. Instead, we lose all of our energy in relationships where the other person doesn’t serve us.

Is there anyone in your life that you notice yourself feeling emotionally tired around? Sometimes we stay in relationships that we would truly be happier without in the long run. A favorite quote of mine is, “Don’t waste your time on someone who won’t waste their time on you.” We all deserve to be happy; life is too short to surround yourself with a few bad eggs. Protect the good relationships in your life, nurture them and be an active participant. Serve yourself and your good relationships well.

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I Am Thankful For...

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, I thought I would post about a couple of things that we are all thankful for. I will speak for myself, but I can almost guarentee that the rest of the WWB bloggers will agree, as you may too, that we are greatful for a lot of the same things. This list does not include everything that I am thankful for, because you all know I am most thankful for my dog, Mark Eaton, but I won't mention him! And so to start...

First things first - Family. Whether it is just one other person or a hundred different people that make up your family, it is still a blessing to have those individuals in our lives. They are who we are, and who we will grow up to be like (Oh lord, please don't let me be like my uncle!) Family should always come first, hence why it came first on my list.

Friends - How interesting that this word also starts with an F. Are F words good afterall? (I know what you are thinking!!) We all know that friends come and go, in and out of our lives, sometimes just as much as the weather changes, but true friends will always be there, come rain, snow, sleet, hail, etc. I cherish my friends and am thankful for everything they have ever said or done for me. I will probably never be ever to repay them for their friendship, but I do not know what kind of person I would be like today if it were not for them.

Freedom - I think I have said it enough times through my blog posts, but I will say it again. I am thankful for those who leave their families and friends to go overseas and fight the battles that help keep us safe from harm. I am thankful for their strength, courage and dedication.

Now here is where some may disagree - Hockey - If you know me, you know that I love, love, love, like really love hockey. It was perfect when I met my husband because one of the first evenings we spent together, we just laid on his floor watching a hockey playoff game and I think he was so excited that he had a girl who actually WATCHED hockey! But now he also knows why I love hockey so much... Kris Letang, Sidney Crosby, Rick DiPietro, Carey Price, John Zeiler (hahahaha, little inside joke for those who know me), but the list goes on of goooood looking hockey players. I am THANKFUL for them!

So what are you thankful for? I have noticed people posting to their facebook every day what they are thankful for this month, but let's remember to be thankful year round. Enjoy your Thanksgiving Day and remember, give thanks for the fun things too!

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EXHAUSTED...That's How I Feel!

This time of year is hard for everyone.  Not only do you have work and family obligations but the holidays are rapidly approaching which means, cooking, gift buying, decorating and just going here, there and everywhere.  It’s difficult and I honestly don’t know how we all do it!

The last week was completely exhausting for me.  It started off with a quick three-day trip to Philadelphia which did wrap up my travel season for my “big girl” job.  Thank goodness…I really don’t think I could get on one more airplane this year.  I got back to the ‘burgh and worked my Wednesday night and Thursday day shift at our bar.  Friday I managed to almost finish my Christmas shopping and then it was back to work at the bar for the weekend and let me tell you, this weekend was tough!  It was the first weekend, in almost five years of ownership, where I had a mental break from dealing with the type of people you have deal with in a bar.  I now know, and completely understand, why people in the service industry are slightly "off" from the rest of the population.

Friday night I had the most ridiculous customers...EVER!  We had DJs and the music was great but I was dealing with complete asses and/or amateurs.  One woman, who I absolutely cannot stand (I’m desperately trying to figure out a way to get her ban for life) actually tipped me with a plastic, 2006 Steelers football!  Really?!  I had another guy that was buying shot after shot and wouldn’t leave a tip at all and then, to top it all off, I had these amateurs that would come up to me and say “can you make me a shot that doesn’t taste like it has alcohol in it?”  Or the classic, “do you have any beer?”  Seriously…it was enough to make me pluck my eye lashes out one by one and with all the kids coming home from college this week for the Turkey Day holiday, I’m sure I have a week full of fun to look forward too!

Saturday was slightly better.  I of course was up at the crack of dawn but I did manage to get all of the gifts I bought the day before wrapped.  As for down at the bar on Saturday night, it too was slightly better.  The customers were far better than the previous night but we were insanely busy.  I spent most of the night running up and down two flights of stairs (I worked our second floor bar) to get more beer, juice, lemons and limes.  The only real perk was I got an amazing ass workout! J

Don’t get me wrong, I was happy we were busy and making money but I’m EXHAUSTED!  I’m tired of smiling and being nice.  I’m tired of drunk people acting like idiots.  I’m tired of working seven days a week.  I’m tired of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping.  I’m tired of not getting enough sleep and I’m tired of feeling like a little, old lady when I'm only 33.  I just want to go home, put my jammies on, watch really bad reality TV (perhaps a little Housewives) while drinking hot chocolate spiked with a little something, something until I pass out!  Is that too much to ask for?  I know I probably sound like a whinning, complaining bitch, and I swear I'm not.  I also totally get the motto...Work hard now, play hard later.  Today, I just wish it was later!

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Birthdays and Such

Remember being a kid and literally counting down the days until your birthday. Having half-birthdays. Birthday eve. While I still get excited about presents--I'm a girlie girl when it comes to that kind of stuff--the turning of the calendar and changing of a number I could do without.

I'm not ashamed of my age. I truly have gotten wiser as I've aged and I wouldn't trade the knowledge or life experiences I've had for another chance at youth. However, slowing the process down wouldn't be a bad thing. Maybe have every year be the equivalent of two--730 days vs. 365 days. Or, only celebrate on leap years--which would mean I'm all of eight and a half!

You don't realize how quickly life passes by until you have children. How my kids got to be six and eight is a mystery to me. It really does feel like they were in diapers and cribs last week. I cried on my son's eighth birthday because it just didn't seem possible that he could have gotten that old, that quick!

Any milestone marking time that has passed is bittersweet. It is wonderful to have fond memories to reminisce about, however, it is sad to know certain chapters are complete and will not come again. Graduating high school or college. Buying your first house. Getting married. Having kids.

The point is enjoy it. All of it. It all comes and goes so quickly. We live in such a fast-paced, gotta-have-it-now, no-time-to-wait world that not only do we miss the little things, but sometimes the big ones as well.

At a time such as Thanksgiving, it seems perfect to slow down, enjoy and be thankful for the here and now. Before you know it, there will just be pictures and memories to commemorate another holiday passing.

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Merry Early Christmas to Me

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve given a “new house” update, but we have been making some progress. And although painting seems like the NEVER ENDING project, I feel as though we might be close to finishing up the last couple rooms. Once those are done, just give me a new bathroom, some new kitchen floors, appliances, and we are ready to move in!

It’s small, needs some updating, but it is ours! It’s been a LOT of hard work, some arguments, decision making, and for indecisive individuals like my fiancé and me, not always a walk in the park…

However; I am excited to announce that we will be closing on our first home next Wednesday, November 23, at noon!

It seems like a long time coming, especially since we have been in the process since July… and working in the house since August, it is all FINALLY falling into place.

The thought of the “officialness” of the whole closing process is a little scary! I’ve NEVER purchased anything so expensive. Besides my saddle and maybe the carpeting I just bought, I can’t say I have invested so much money into one purchase.

A fellow blogger informed me that she literally gets nauseous when making big purchases and has actually gotten sick when buying cars and closing on her house.

I can’t say that I’m a puker – I’m an impulse buyer. Typically, regardless of price, if I want it, I buy it. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about this purchase, a BIG purchase. It’s nerve-wracking. It isn’t like buying a pair of jeans. If they don’t fit right, I return them and get my money back, or find another pair. You can’t return a house if things aren’t going well… I won’t get my money back if the toilet leaks and floods my basement.

Reality is setting in – in 5 days I will be a homeowner. Scary! Exciting!

But I’m ready, it is time, I need to be a big girl!

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Give a Gift That’s All the Gab!

I know it isn’t Thanksgiving yet, but Christmas is just around the corner and soon enough your company will be hosting its annual holiday party. Most people spend more time at their job than they do with their own families, how sad, but true! Holiday gift exchanges at work are a great way to build camaraderie and holiday spirit among coworkers. We have all probably been to gift exchanges where everyone draws a name and you end up with some stinky bath soap or pair of mittens. Most of the time, no one really knows what to get. People set gift limits such as $15, then when you take back the earrings you got because your ears aren't pierced, you find out they only cost $5, although you spent $17. It definitely ruins the spirit of the holidays when you end up with a crappy gift. At work we have a gift exchange coming up and I found some great ideas that I had to share.

1. Butt Station
This started off being just a gag gift for co-workers but everyone wants a butt station! A fun art deco desk accessory that includes a pen holder, tape dispenser, memo/card holder, paper clip holder and just a great conversation piece all in one! Stands... or sits... about 5" high and comes in a variety of colors including the ever popular neon green, neon orange and bright blue. You can order these on eBay or Amazon.com.

2. Chalkboard Wine Glasses
Why not do a plug for myself. Do you entertain? I saw this somewhere and thought it was a great idea. I have not yet made these but I plan to and I am going to start selling them just in time for the holidays (if you’re interested in purchasing, let me know.) With these glasses, you don’t need charms to keep glasses from getting mixed up - you can write with chalk on the glass. How cool is that? Write your guest’s name or leave a message - something to bring a smile to their face. These will make a great holiday gift!



3. Is your office cold?
Why not give an electric blanket. I have one at my desk and I use it all of the time, I lay it over my chair and use it to make a heated seat, call me crazy, but it is nice! Look at Walmart, Target or Big Lots, they usually have them reasonably priced.

4. Gift Baskets
Create a themed gift basket. Some examples would be a movie basket, a coffee or tea basket, candle basket, or include things from your local sports teams.

5. Edward Scissors
From traditional scissors found in workrooms and classrooms to those used in private kitchens and linen rooms, these scissors come with comical flair.


6. Sampler of different types of hot sauces. Click here, this website has a great selection. Or, try looking on Amazon.com.

7. Wine and lottery tickets
Who doesn’t like the chance to win money? Give a bottle of wine and attach a few lottery tickets, this was a hot item last year for our gift exchange.

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Remembering Our Troops Through the Holidays

There have been some recent holidays that have made us all think a bit more about our troops overseas and how they will be there for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year's...whatever holiday it is that they celebrate. Election day always brings about talk of the troops overseas, who wants to bring them home, who wants to keep the war going, etc. Then came the Marine Corps 236th birthday. I had to tell my husband happy birthday because he also counts this as HIS birthday too and gets really excited! And then there was Veterans Day. A day to reflect on all of those who serve and who have served our country.

We have some tough fighters out there who won't get to be with their loved ones during the holidays. As a way to make them feel a bit more at home, we are sending cookie care packages at our "big girl" jobs. Hopefully the whole office participates, but of course the six of us are.

You can also join in on sending a couple dozen, fresh baked (and there are ways to keep them that way through shipping) to America's hereos overseas. I would like to provide you with some baking and shipping tips and if you need an address to send your baked goods to, please add a comment and I can provide you with an address.

COOKIES & ITEMS TO AVOID
~ Certain cookies ship better than others. It is recommended that you do not mail any type of delicate cookie, such as Madeleines, as they may crumble. Cookies with custard or custard-like fillings or toppings, including cheesecake, could spoil due to extreme heat during shipping. Also, any cookie that requires refrigeration is not a good candidate.
~ Avoid any strong scented cookies as the other cookies may pick up the scent and taste.
~ The following items are PROHIBITED: Illegal substances, alcoholic beverages and pork or pork by-products.

PACKING TIPS
~ Include the recipe for your cookies so that service members with food allergies can make an informed choice.-Don't pack crisp and soft cookies together. The moisture from the soft cookies will seep into the crisp cookies, making them lose their crunch.
~ You can place the cookies in a tin or in ziplock bags to be placed in cardboard boxes. The U.S. Postal Service provides free military kits that include boxes, tape, address labels and customs forms.
~ Pack cookies in layers with wax paper. Lay a sheet of wax paper on the top layer and place a slice of white bread, not homemade, in the container to keep the cookies fresh during shipping. The bread will absorb moisture.
~Don't overstuff your container or your cookies may be damaged. Likewise, don't under pack your container. The cookies should fit snugly.

There are many items you can include with your cookies to cushion the containers from shifting during shipping.
~ New socks, boxers, towels or other soft, practical items
~ Individually wrapped hard candy, such as jawbreakers, lollipops or butterscotches.
~ Newspapers, magazines or comic books

Please remember that even if you don't believe in what is going on overseas, there are men and women there fighting for your right to have that belief. If it were not for them, who knows what our country would be like today. Do not take the little things for granted, such as cookies during the holidays, and remember to think of those who won't be with their loved ones for the holidays.

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Use It or Lose It

Have you ever held on to something, not because you like it, but because you feel obligated to? Maybe it was something you received from your first boyfriend, or a parent or grandparent who has passed, or maybe it was your child’s first school drawing. I’m sure we are all guilty of it. I am.

As Nick and I get closer to our official move-in date at the new house I am starting to realize how much stuff the two of us have accumulated living together over the past three years. I’m not one for clutter, and I don’t like the thought of keeping things you don’t actually need, but then why do I have a bin of horse show ribbons sitting in the corner of my room collecting dust? Sentimental value – for the moment, I guess.

It’s so much easier to get rid of things when you aren't emotionally attached to them. Old clothes, books, shoes, etc. Most of these things don’t matter much to me. I can easily get rid of them. I love to donate old things to AM Vets or Goodwill, and I do.

But what about the old things that you use, that you don’t love, could easily get rid of, but are strangely attached to?

For example, I have two matching corner book shelves, one of which has traveled with us to both of our previous houses, and the other one sits in my parent’s basement. They don’t match anything (other than the table and chairs that we also have, which used the same stain). The table and chairs never made it upstairs in the house we are currently in, and won’t make it into the new house. But I will keep them. Why? Because my grandfather, of whom I have never met, built them. I feel a need to keep them. I like them, but they just aren’t going with the décor at the new house.

My BFF and I had the same conversation this weekend about her mother’s plates. She thinks they are ugly, but she uses them, and feels obligated to keep them because they are her mother’s, but they aren’t her style.

There are two main reasons we save things:
1. We’re worried that, no matter how unlikely, we might want to use them someday.
2. Things have sentimental value – they are an anchor to a memory of a past event.

I’m certainly more #2 than #1… I’m good about, if I don’t use it, I get rid of it. But I hang on to those memories of the past. Needless to say, I will get rid of the bin of horse show ribbons before we move – I have no use for them. I will, however, keep my bookshelves and the table and chairs (for reasons #1 & #2).

I'm sure at some point I will let go of them, whether they end up in the garbage, donated or passed down to my children. I just know that right now, I'm not willing to part ways with a link to my past that I don't know much about. These are the items I have to remember a man I have never met.

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The End of Innocence

There are many instances in life that make you feel as though you have finally grown up. When you are young, you think it is a number—18 or 21. Once you have passed that milestone, you assume it is your first job or first apartment. As time goes on, you think once you are married or when you have children. Those instances come and go and you still find situations where you are undeveloped and not so grown up. And truth be told, you’ve spent the last 10-20 years trying so hard to be an adult that once you finally get close, you don’t want it so badly. Your mother warned you this day would come. Dammit!

I grew up in a small northeastern town. I walked every day to my small high school where everyone knew everyone. I couldn’t wait to get out and grow up! My escape was Penn State. When I finally landed there, I felt at home. It was so comfortable. I had some friends from high school there. It was close to home. Whenever I needed money, mom and dad weren't far away. We walked everywhere. It was similar enough to my hometown, but grown up enough for me to call it my own. It was safe. And even though it was large, it was so familiar and comfortable. This beautiful place I got to call my own for four years. Happy Valley was truly happy.

By the end of four years, I was ready to get out. I had gotten from the town and institution what I needed. Some great friends, a wonderful education and memories.  Amazing memories. It’s funny that as memories wear on, they change and morph into something they may never have truly been.  I didn’t always get along with my roommates. I didn’t always do my best. I made some stupid mistakes, but if you ask me, it was all great. I love that place. What it stood for. What it made me into.

I remember when my boys were babies (only 21 months apart in age). My life was a blur. Everyone said to cherish it, love every minute because it would be over. I couldn’t wait for the teething and tantrums to end. Now that my children are growing up, I truly do miss that. My memories seem to show themselves through rose-colored lenses—something they probably weren’t but I can’t go back, so I remember it as I wish maybe it would have been.

As a child, most of us have this romantic version of our parents. Mom is the prettiest lady. Dad, the smartest man. The same holds true for teachers, mentors, coaches. They are almost super heroes, super human. I’ve felt like this about most of the influential adults in my life. The ones who set such a stellar example that I chose my college major because of them, questioned my own decisions based on their past influences, remembered guiding words and notable encounters. When someone like that falls, it breaks you.

This entire situation with Penn State has me confused, upset, bewildered.  I’ve lost faith in a lot of things, lost trust and question judgment. I so want to believe that people do the right thing for the right reasons and the wrong things are usually a mistake, but the truth is humans are humans. Some are good, some are not. Some make good choices, some do not. We are all guided by the same moral code and we either abide by it or disregard it.

The realizations of adulthood. The taking off of those rose-colored glasses and seeing things for what they truly are is tough, but it is a part of growing up and it still sucks. At 33, I’m still not grown up. I’m not sure I’m ever gonna get there. And how it feels sometimes, I’m not sure I ever really want to.

~ Kel

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Love Em’ or Hate Em’ – We’ve All Got Em’!

Aunt Mable has had too much to drink. Cousin Sara won’t stop talking about her love life, in detail. Grandma Betty is criticizing left and right but trying to pass it along as compliments. Your sister-in-law thanks you for bringing the pie that is “almost as good as hers.” HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Thanksgiving is only 2 weeks away and as families will soon gather around to celebrate the holiday, many people are bracing for the intense emotions of the holiday meal.

Think of your first holiday with your husband’s family. Do you remember feeling utterly disappointed with the food, thinking it was not quite as good as your family’s recipes? It just doesn’t taste anything like your family’s good cookin’. You were anxiously awaiting the stress-free, delicious holiday meal only to feel dissatisfied.

You quickly start thinking what you can use to bargain with your husband so that you can coax him into eating the next holiday meal with your family. Maybe Aunt Mable’s stained red wine teeth and drunken slurs aren’t so bad after all.

Luckily, I have no Aunt Mable, no cousin Sara, no grandma Betty and no sister-in-law making jabs at my pie skills. But, I would be lieng if I said that my family holiday meals are picture perfect. Sure, usually there are a few fights, some snippy remarks and complaints, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The delicious food I get to eat does not compare to anyone else’s. The car ride home is usually spent reflecting on the amusing occurrences that took place. For example, no one has the heart to tell my Aunt that we all secretly dislike her mashed potatoes that she thinks are “the BEST” and insists on making each, and every holiday. It is a running joke between me and my cousins.

Love ‘em, or hate ‘em – we’ve all got em, especially around the holidays. Good old relatives. They come in various shapes, sizes, delight and dread; each one playing a theatrical role in our life. This Thanksgiving, embrace all of the quirkiness your family has to offer. Be thankful for your version of grandma Betty and cousin Sara.

To bring you some Thanksgiving cheer, I share with you our Working Wives & Bachelorettes family Thanksgiving picture. We saved a seat for you!

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A Little Tea and a Lot of Thanks

After doing a some shopping this past weekend, I started to feel a little Christmas cheer. I enjoyed seeing the Christmas displays and the red and green decorating the stores. All the merriment had me thinking of packing up my autumn decorations to make way for Christmas trees and twinkle lights.

The next day, my anticipation of the Christmas season slowed down. My mom took me and my brother's girlfriend to tea at Sweet Shalom Tea Room in Sylvania, OH. Surrounded by delicate floral china with matching tea cups and real silver, we were served delicious food - the pumpkin scones were unbelievable! And of course, we drank wonderful tea. At our place settings were little cards with our names and a gentle reminder to "keep an attitude of gratitude". In the middle of our afternoon tea, a woman, who I assume is the owner, talked about gratitude and the physical benefits of living a thankful life.

As I sat listening to her and sipping my tea, I thought about what I am thankful for. We were even given little sheets of paper to list things. My family is the first thing that came to my mind, especially as my dad is, yet again, in the ICU. And frankly, last weekend was stressful and scary with some tears shed, but I still have a lot to be thankful for. My dad is in an excellent hospital getting the best care possible.

The atmosphere was so relaxing in this tea room that the short break from the craziness of the weekend was something to be thankful for. And even though we had to abruptly leave to go back to the hospital before the tea was over, our gracious server boxed up our desserts and split our fresh pot of tea into three to-go cups.

While I have bad days and frustrations about many things, I forget to slow down so the craziness of everything doesn't consume me. I can't control everything and that isn't going to change.

While I am still eager to break out my Christmas decorations, I will hold off for just a little bit longer to enjoy Thanksgiving. Who knew that a few cups of tea could bring so much perspective?

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Men and Their Periods!

It must really be nice to be a man…to do, say and behave any way they want.  They even get their periods.  Granted, it’s not all fun and games as us ladies know but come on…can’t we just have one thing that’s all ours?!  Not to mention the fact that although we can get moody during "Aunt Flow’s" visit, we pick ourselves up by our boot straps and keep trucking along!

So the last few days have been a bit trying with my hubby.  Don’t get me wrong, I love him dearly but when he gets in bad mood, he really gets in a bad mood. ..Italian style!   It started last week when he got upset with me because I didn’t want to stay down at the bar and have a few drinks with him before I went home.  Now, let me put my day in to perspective for all you readers.  I worked eight hours at my “big girl” job, came home, changed and then had to be down at the bar to work another four hours.  He napped all day.  He showed up at the bar around 9ish and just disappeared in the basement to get some paperwork done.  I finished work around 10 p.m. and by then, I was beat.  I went down to say hi and bye and then…he just went crazy!  He started saying that I don’t like spending time with him and I don’t care about his feelings…blah, blah, blah!  Really dude?  I swear his behavior mirrored that of a teenage girl on her period!  I mean, who just worked 12 hours and who just napped and played video games all day?

Saturday, I thought things were looking up.  He was in a great mood, making jokes, smiling and then… it all went to crap again.  By the end of a very busy night at our bar, the staff (who we love) royally messed up the register and credit card machine.  Granted, it was a really stupid mistake but it was stupid busy and in the rush, they hit a few wrong buttons.  My husband has very little patience for this sort of stuff (even though he’s guilty of having done it himself) and it took every bit of energy that I had left to keep him calm and to figure out the problem myself.  Keep in mind, I had the night off and I was more than a little tipsy!  But surprise, surprise, us ladies have to do it all right?

By Sunday, he was just angry at the world and I was just getting more and more frustrated!  There’s only so much I can take before my fuse runs out.  We went to his parent’s house for dinner and to watch the football game (btw...I can’t believe we lost to the Ravens again) and by Monday, I just decided I had enough.  So I left the house and actually started, and put a nice dent in, my Christmas shopping.  By the time I got home, his “period” finally ended.  He sat me down and apologized for being such a douche over the last few days.  He even cleaned the house and ordered dinner for us.   

Thank god it’s all over.  All I can say is that it must have been a very “heavy” month for him and hopefully it won’t rear its ugly head for another six months! 

My Words of Wisdom:  Most of the time, men act like children.  It's just their nature.  We as ladies have to be the strong ones and no when to pick our battles.  It wasn't worth me getting all pissed off at him.  I tried to cheer him up and when I realized I was at my breaking point...I just went out for a little retail therapy.  I knew his foul mood would eventually pass and it wasn't worth it to me to put any more heat on the fire when I knew...he was just on his period!

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F&%*ing Crabby

I have to admit, usually I'm all rainbows and sunshine. Well, at least I try to be. Can see the bright side. Look at the big picture, etc. Not today. I am miserable. No real reason. Not a full moon. Not PMS. Just a bad mood. And every little thing is irritating the sh*t out of me. The nail in my tire that cannot be repaired, but has to be replaced at $208--making the appointment, spending the money. The cold that I have been fighting for two weeks now--four medications later, I still feel ugh! My lack of ability to get motivated about much of anything, especially work. My husband leaving for China tomorrow. I'm trying so hard to not argue with him over every little thing that is pissing me off because I won't see him for two weeks I may just bite clear through my tongue!

My head, when not pounding from a sinus headache, is telling me to get my crap together and get over it. Nothing is really wrong, why be so miserable? The rest of me is telling my head to shut the hell up and let this girl have a few days of "whoa is me." The problem is, I hate the "whoa is me" type. I'm the first to say get it together. Suck it up. It could be worse. But I just can't shake it.

I power through. It's Monday (yuck), time change has me all sorts of shaken (I HATE when it is dark at 5 p.m.). This too shall pass. It will soon be roses and moonbeams again. 

Until then, f*&# this sh*t.

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The View From My Window

When my husband and I bought our house, we knew there was a lot that needed to be done to make it our own. The house was built in the 1950's and we were only the second owners. It was just a little old woman (and no my house is not a shoe) that lived in my home before us, so of course, our tastes are very different.

We moved into our house in September and that winter we had a HUGE snowstorm. So the view from my kitchen window was just amazing (and yes, that is the real picture from my kitchen window). Needless to say, I love the view I have, but I don't love my 60+ year old windows.

There really was nothing wrong with our house or the windows, but the whole house really just needed update. It needed a new kitchen, new bathroom, some TLC for the floors and new windows that did not leak any air. Which leads me to my past two months.

Getting bids for new windows is not fun. There are so many companies out there who tell you their windows are the best and they can do it better than the next guy. What bothers me the most is when they slam their competitors and try to trash talk them to my face. I get it, you want the sale, but don't be the sleezy sales person who is rude about other companies. You all have your positives and negatives, just some more than others.

I met with four different window companies: one high-end company to see exactly why they were the more expensive window and to figure out why they charged so much, two middle-priced companies, and then the lowballer. I called another number given to me by a fellow WWB blogger, but never got a return call from them. Odd, you would think they would jump on it when I want windows!

The first thing I learned is that windows are much more expensive than I thought. I needed nine new windows for my house, and they are not the normal size window either. However, the return on investment for new windows will hopefully pay off in the end, so I had to pay the price.

After meeting with the four companies, by myself (my husband really had no part in what I liked to call the window interview process), I finally chose a company - TWO MONTHS LATER!

I asked myself, why did it take me so long to make this decision? I know that I want, and need, to buy new windows, but why did I go back and forth with which company I wanted to go with?
The answer is because I kept thinking there would be a better deal out there. Some company would magically have the same low-e, double paned, yata yata yata windows that I want, but at a price that was AMAZING! Wrong. So I really just had to make a choice.

I am not loyal to any of these companies or brands, so they all came in with a fair "interview". In the end, it came down to the company that had the most honest sales guy (and yes, all males...I would've like to maybe find a female, but whatever). The company was not the lowest priced (because I felt like the lowballer was going to screw me over ten times). This company ended up being a family run, local business, which was a bonus to my husband, a local business owner himself. So in a sense, I have found myself being true to the local business, yet again, and always think I will be that way.

I have not had my windows installed yet, but when they are put in, I will let you know if I am still happy with my choice. Until then, I will still be looking out my 60 year old windows, but hopefully not with snow like the first year.

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Caramel Apples with Gourmet Flair

If you're anything like me, when the temperatures start to cool and fall is in the air one thing comes to mind: delicious caramel apples! I loved caramel apples as a kid, and now as an adult, why not add gourmet flair. I’m sure you’ve seen them at the grocery store, market, candy shop or fair with the makers charging anywhere from $5 to sometimes $20. With prices that high you'd think they are close to impossible to make at home yourself, but they're not! It's easy to make fancy looking gourmet apples. Although my attempts were nowhere as pretty as the picture, they tasted good (the girls here at work can attest) and my niece and I had a great time making them.

Here are instructions for making 10-12 gourmet candy apples:

Step 1: Assemble the ingredients.
-Caramel bits (i.e. Kraft’s Caramel Bits) or wrapped caramel candies (i.e. Brach’s Milk Maid creamy caramels). The caramel bits are the easiest because you don't have to unwrap them like the candies. But, the candies are easy too. Unwrap each piece, and you're ready to go.
- 1-2 bags of white baker’s chocolate
- Brown sugar
- Cinnamon
- 2 packages of cinnamon graham crackers

Prepare cookie sheets with wax paper. Spray the wax paper with cooking spray so the apples don’t stick.

Step 2: Prepare the apples.
You need firm, crisp apples. If possible, buy apples that aren't waxed. If yours are waxed, wash them with baking soda or give them a quick dunk in boiling water to melt the wax off. Dry them thoroughly and remove the stems. Insert a stick into the stem end - about 3/4 of an inch so that they are in there firmly. Put the apples in your freezer. This will make the chocolate stick better.

Step 3: Prepare the coating:
Crush the graham crackers. In a bowl, mix cinnamon, brown sugar and crushed graham crackers. I did not include measurements because I sort of winged this. I would say that this is all dependent upon taste. Set this mixture aside for later use.

On a side note, the ones I made did not have enough of a cinnamon taste so when I make these again, I will definitely add a bit more cinnamon- maybe even some into the white chocolate.

Step 4: Melt the chocolate.
Put the chocolate in a glass or heat-safe bowl that fits on top of a sauce pan. Fill the saucepan halfway with water; make sure the bottom of the insert isn't touching the water. Simmer the water and stir frequently until the chips melt.

Step 5: Dip the apples in chocolate.
Once the chocolate is melted, dip your apples and place them onto the cookie sheet. The chocolate should harden rather quickly.

Step 6: Make the caramel.
Add water to the caramel bits (or candies if you're using them), 2 tablespoons of water per bag of caramel bits or candies. Zap it in the microwave for approx. 3 minutes. Stir after each minute, and stop heating it as soon as it's all melted.

Step 7: Dip the apples in caramel.
You can spoon some of the caramel on, too. Lift the apple out of the caramel and let the excess drip off.

Step 8: Play dress up!
Before the caramel gets too hard, dip the apples in the graham cracker, brown sugar, cinnamon mixture. Place them back on the cookie sheet. I put mine in the refrigerator so that they could harden.

After a half hour, I couldn’t wait any longer and had to cut one up, they are delicious! Now that I think I’ve worked out the kinks and shared the recipe with all of you, I’ll probably try again soon! These are great gifts for relatives during the holidays or a delicious after (or before) dinner treat.

There are many different candies to coat the apple and an endless variety of goodies to add to the outside. Add your own variations such as milk chocolate, mini M&M’s, shredded coconut, nuts, chopped Snickers, sprinkles, toffee bits, mini marshmallows or crushed Oreos.

I hope you enjoy making these as much as I did. If you use a delicious variation of your own, let us know so we can try it too!

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...I'll get to this later

Procrastination - putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention. Yes. I am very good at procrastinating. I always have been. I wrote the best papers in college the night before they were due. Something about that last minute pressure brings out the creative perfectionist in me. Even now, in my “big girl job,” I will be the first to admit, I’m a procrastinator. It is certainly not a personality trait I am proud of, I have to say, it has never really come back to bite me in the ass… yet.

On Monday, I had a “holy crap” moment. I realized that in only 10 months I would be getting married! 10 months! So much to do, in suddenly what feels like very little time. Between trying to move into our house, being busy at work and getting ready for the holiday season (Yes, it’s freakin November), I’m feeling very overwhelmed, and for the moment, wedding planning has taken a back seat to the rest of my life.

I don’t want to be a procrastinator when it comes to my wedding (although I did wait months to actually choose a date). I want to have the most fun, most beautiful, most memorable wedding there ever was – and that surely takes some planning and preparation. There is no pumping out a wedding the night before, that’s for sure.

But I think part of my problem is that wedding planning takes a lot of time and research, which means a lot of time Googling on my computer, which is the last thing I want to do when I get home from work after spending an entire 8 hours in front of a computer.

Also, I am not that little girl who has envisioned her wedding since the day she was five. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of ideas and I am REALLY excited to marry my best friend, I just need to get some motivation (or pressure) to get the ball rolling on making appointments and such.
I do have a few of the big items crossed off my list…

ü Venue (Succop Conservancy)

ü Caterer (Medures Catering)

ü Dress (purchased from Bridal Beginning)

ü Photographer (my cousin and amazing photographer, Elizabeth Cayton)

ü Save the Dates have been sent

But, clearly for anyone who has been married... I have so much more to do.

I came across three secrets to overcoming procrastination:

1.Do it, delegate it or dump it! Don't wait till you feel like doing it; the feeling will come when you start doing it.
2.List all the things you have to do and then prioritize the list. Start with the things that are necessary; then those that are possible; and suddenly you'll find you are doing the impossible!)
3.Create a vision of the result and be motivated by the vision of the outcome, not the thought of the process.

Now, to stop procrastinating and follow these rules.

Any brides out there struggling with this? Motivation is kindly appreciated!

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As Long As We Both Shall Live...Or Not

If you have been living under a rock, you may not have heard that Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after 72 days of marriage. This is such big news that it was the first story in the 7:30 half hour of Good Morning America complete with secondary interviews to give a better picture of the situation. (I completely judge the importance of a news event on when it is aired on GMA.) I am ashamed to say that I have been reading and watching the stories of this high-profile divorce, and will probably continue to do so. It will most likely be the cover story on my issue of People magazine, as well, retelling the same story that has been told over and over all week.

I have had the unfortunate experience was seeing my brother go through a divorce. It was painful...for him, for her, for me, for both sets of parents, and the list goes on. And to be honest, it was probably the worst year of my life dealing with it and it wasn't even my marriage. Tears were shed. Feelings were hurt. Relationships were lost.

Several years ago, I was listening to the radio on the way to work and the morning show hosts were asking people to call in who knew that their marriages were not going to last. One woman called in who knew that in the next 5 years, she would most likely be divorced. She was fine being married for the moment, but she didn't see the marriage lasting for the long haul. It was almost a joke to her. I couldn't believe I was hearing this woman talk about her marriage like it was something to be thrown away once she decided it was no good anymore.

So, while the romantic in me waits for her Prince Charming, I will keep reading about another Hollywood split.

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