I was out a few weeks ago with my youngest buying school supplies. The usual colored pencils, binder, glue sticks, some groceries. We were at Target, so I'm certain I picked up some unnecessary something for myself, as per usual. We left. Four bags and over $100 later. Not atypical.
While pulling out of the parking lot, there was a bit of congestion at an intersection. A man, dressed all in white holding a sign, seemed to be the delay. As my car crawled closer, I could read the sign, "Father of four. Will work for food, clothing and school supplies." EVERY car was stopping to hand the man cash. He was crying. Overcome with the generosity of strangers. I stopped, handed him the cash I had (rare, as I never have cash in this plastic world). And said, "God bless you." He could barely mutter the phrase back to me he was so visibly moved. As I pulled away, and as I write this now, I was flooded with tears and emotions. Here is a man, putting all sense of pride aside to try his best to provide for his family in an immediate need. Selfish, living in a bubble that is the suburbs of Pittsburgh, PA, I just spent triple digits on school supplies and other randomness.
As I drove home, I was ill. How can I be so needy? And not in the "I need food, water and shelter." But in the, "I need yoga clothes from lululemon and a new Coach purse. Oh, and I need my hair cut and colored." And, "I'm so annoyed that we can't (fill in the blank)." We have enough. More than enough. More than five families would need as far as food and clothing and all other wants and desires. At the beginning of summer, I actually joked that between the new clothes that were bought for my seven year old and the hand-me-downs he has gotten from his older brother and cousins, he could throw away his outfit at the end of each day and we would still have enough shorts and tees to wear.
I'm good about cleaning out the house and donating clothes, toys and household items to Goodwill. My husband and I make donations to charities that we support, as well as to almost anyone who approaches us for a good cause. We put money in coffers and try to help those in need. But is it enough? That day, it didn't feel like it.
I should have turned my car around and handed the man asking for goods for his family my bags of school supplies, in addition to the cash I gave him. I had waters for lunches, a dozen or so Lunchables and snacks. I could have done more. And it wouldn't have affected my bottom line at all. But I didn't. I cried all the way home. Thinking of his misfortune and how today, that could happen to anyone at anytime. Including my own family.
I hope he's found a job. I hope his children aren't hungry or being bullied at school for not having what everyone else has.
There are things I need. I need food. I need water. I need coffee. (OK, I actually don't need coffee, but it does make me a better wife and mother.) And I need my family. That is all. At the end of the day, the tag on my clothes, the price of my house or the cost of my adventures doesn't make me who I am. My kindness, caring and ability to help anyone who needs it does. My capacity to reach out to another soul searching for something that I can so easily provide is necessary. It isn't a religious thing, it is a human thing.
We all need a little less. To really think about what we want and what we need. To simplify in the greatest sense of the word. Stop making mountains out of molehills and do something. Anything. Nothing grand, just small and simple. If we all did that, imagine the difference it would make. I imagine the difference that all of us who stopped that day made to that man and his family. If nothing else, restored his sense of hope and the promise of a future full of good will.
“The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson's
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